oddly this is what I remember im sitting at a table smoking a cigarette and I look over to the left side of me and then I turn away and some reason I start choking on something and then I wake up and im really choking and trying to catch my breath and yet my heart is still racing now while I am typing this on my phone T.T

you are the earth beneath my feet you are my gravity

week one of school has been a success but now i just need to work on a fixed sleeping schedule cause i cant be up like this all the time along with sleeping through the whole afternoon into keeping me up all night too... yesterday i was like haunted by my great america past. i came across this girl i worked with at great america which was my supervisor that i ended up being a supervisor with and then we went to a friends house to drink and then this girl recognized me from somewhere and i asked her which high shcool she went to and i asked what high school she went to. which ended up being yerba beuna and the only person i knew that went there was vicky and she was just got up and was like OHHH you use to go out with her right yeah i heard her talk about you alot before T_T anyways i must go to sleep and wake up for school in 2 hours

silence is golden

silence is not the best sound i have ever heard its the only thing that is best to describe your reaction from my every word. i wish you would scream out my name when i walk through the door as you crush my heart on the living room floor... i don't remember what color my eyes were if i would have known your name would crush me i would never have learned to speak it but now its all i have to discern you from other people and i wrote it into a poem so we'll never know who's really equal.

another early day to start. went to dave and busters and saw someone that i would have never expected to see but all i get after years is just a hello nothing more. we use to be the best of friends until you let your life get manipulated into a reality tv life then you became a whole new person. times to get ready to drive to school pick up my books and then straight to work

shine on diamond eyes

i have destroyed another set of ear phones which is gonna hold me back from like hiking and jogging but yet again the weather has been pretty shitty but what do you expect from april and the allergies are finally starting to take a toll on me. im a sneezing machine now. this is what i get for making fun of someone for allergies

prologue

goodbye to my dark past (xanga) i guess sometimes it just doesnt work out and we got to let go sometimes. im not good enough to complicate your respiratory system like the moment of your first car crash or your first kiss. what ever i build ill have to break apart into a million pieces and each shard is an entry of good or bad memories of my sustained past that i dont want to look back to sometimes. let me put this candle (blogspot) next to three mirrors to show you the hundreds of memories thats going to be put out.. and it starts